Cake After People
What would happen if every baker on earth...[dramatic voice]...disappeared?
This isn't the story of how they might vanish. It's what happens to the cakes they leave behind. This is just part of the journey that will take us to the future of once active bakeries, as well as haunting sites already devoid of taste. Welcome to earth, population: zero.
Geothermal flash floods bring with them river rock and debris. Amazingly, the petrified pastries persevere.
Seriously? "Petrified pastries persevere?" Who wrote this?
sound guy: I think it was the new guy; he had to finish up when Jerry took leave. Look, just go with it; we're on a roll.
[sigh] Fine.
In dank, darkened displays, filthy, festering folds of fondant mask the moldering malformed mess, made more malignantly misshapen in much...
[throwing script down] Oh come on!!
sound guy: What?
I'm ad-libbing from here. Deal with it.
This isn't the story of how they might vanish. It's what happens to the cakes they leave behind. This is just part of the journey that will take us to the future of once active bakeries, as well as haunting sites already devoid of taste. Welcome to earth, population: zero.
1 year
after bakers
An abandoned ring and silk flowers bear mute witness to the echoing loneliness...of desolation.
An abandoned ring and silk flowers bear mute witness to the echoing loneliness...of desolation.10 years
after bakers
In the depths of bakery windows everywhere, dust gathers. Icing crumbles. With no workers here to clean, once-sweet treats become deadly harbingers of disease.
Sun-bleached displays now resemble so much worn, waxy marble, making it impossible to distinguish what once was a timeless tasty treat.
Uh. Lot of alliteration in this half of the script, huh?
Sound guy: Alliter what now?
Never mind.
In the depths of bakery windows everywhere, dust gathers. Icing crumbles. With no workers here to clean, once-sweet treats become deadly harbingers of disease.
Sun-bleached displays now resemble so much worn, waxy marble, making it impossible to distinguish what once was a timeless tasty treat.Uh. Lot of alliteration in this half of the script, huh?
Sound guy: Alliter what now?
Never mind.
100 years
after bakers
Geothermal flash floods bring with them river rock and debris. Amazingly, the petrified pastries persevere.Seriously? "Petrified pastries persevere?" Who wrote this?
sound guy: I think it was the new guy; he had to finish up when Jerry took leave. Look, just go with it; we're on a roll.
[sigh] Fine.
In dank, darkened displays, filthy, festering folds of fondant mask the moldering malformed mess, made more malignantly misshapen in much...[throwing script down] Oh come on!!
sound guy: What?
I'm ad-libbing from here. Deal with it.
sound guy: Ok, but you're telling Jerry.
Fine. Let's wrap this up.
Fine. Let's wrap this up.
10,000 years
after bakers
Yeeeeee-haw!
Come and get it!!
sound guy: Seriously?
Seriously.
Come and get it!!
sound guy: Seriously?
Seriously.
Hey Carly T., Tom H., & Clair W., did you know that all these displays are for bakeries still open for business? Seriously.
Categories:
Ewww,
Oh-So-Ugly
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