professional cakes - cakes wrecks

Ok, so in the Ghostbusters video game (oh, c'mon, you knew I was a nerd) there's this cursed clock that claims to show the exact time of death for anyone who looks at it. Creepy, right?

Well, guess what came to mind when I saw this cake?

You think this Wreckerator knows something about Beck Y's future - say, around 10 PM - that we don't? I mean, she filled in everything else from "play with gran kids" to "gardaning," so that lone blank spot is looking pretty dang ominous, if you ask me.

In fact, maybe the baker should just get right to the point:




Thanks to W.C., Ashley B., April C., Ginny B., Heather J., Betsy U., & Jennifer H. for all the fell wishes.

We have an exciting new lineup of shows for you this Summer, target demographic viewers! That's right, who needs scripts, stars, or self-respect when you could be watching "Joan Rivers' Surgery Cam," "Bulimic Hoarders with STDs Who Didn't Know They Were Pregnant," or "Temptation Island 12"?

Cake Wrecks reader Jessica H. has a yearly tradition with us: she sends us her daughter's amazing Darth Vader mash-up birthday cake, and we post it.

You might remember little Sarah's 4th birthday cake:



Or her fifth birthday cake:



Anyway, Sarah recently celebrated her sixth birthday, and I think you'll agree it was her best Vader mash-up cake yet:



All of these cakes were made by their local Dairy Queen, and this latest masterpiece was hand-piped by "a young guy who can't have been over 19 years old," and who was apparently quite worried that he didn't get all the details quite right.

Proving there may be hope for the nation's bakeries, after all.


Many thanks again to Jessica H., and also a belated "Happy Birthday" and "May the Force be with you," to my new favorite geek girl, Sarah, who I hear was super excited to see her first two cakes on the blog. Lookin' forward to seeing what you dream up for next year, Sarah! (And may I suggest...Rainbow Brite?)

Thanks to eagle-eyed Wreckporter JD R., who will play devil's advocate anytime, if it gets her chocolate cake.

Hello! My name is Debbie, and this is my first attempt at a Cake Wrecks bio. So I'm nervous, but excited at the same time! Wheee!

So, I'm just going to start talking about what I like, and hope you like it!

Um. Let's see. I am... a relatively new Cake Wrecks reader. Um. I love...

For a reduced price, you can help these poor, unwanted cakes find a place where they will be loved, cherished,











Thanks to our "generous" "sponsors" Carly R., Garrett B., Jill B., Cheryl, Sabra L., Rasha H., and Dan & Christine M.

[whispering] Right, then. Listen, guys. I know some of you might be "concerned" that your bride-to-be has had wedding cake in the past. And yes, she probably has!














...the important thing is to remember that your bride loves you, no matter what. The cakes of the past are the cakes of the past! No matter how massive and sweeping and awe-inspiring they may have been.



Thanks to Kimber M., Anony M., Julia H., Tessa D., Adrienne H., Jamie, Rachel O., and Anony M., who can come back in now.

Thanks to the amazing Sweet Designs Kitchen for having a sense of humor matched only by their talent. Wreck on, guys.

*So perky!

Hey, did you know that the income tax deadline here in the U.S. has been pushed back 'til Monday?

(I'll pause here to allow those of you whooping for joy to catch your breath.)

Well, if you're like me, this means you might want to get started on your taxes sometime today, or this weekend, or maybe even Monday morning. After all, as a wise man once said, "[remember to insert procrastination quote before post goes up]!"

So, in our eternal quest to help you readers in the most sincere way possible using funny cakes, here is a complete, comprehensive guide for doing your taxes.

Step 1. Mix 2 ounces ea. of vodka, tequila, rum and gin - with a splash of Coke - and drink immediately.



Step 2. Pull shoebox of receipts from laundry hamper and take wild guess as to how much you spent last year.

This can include children, imaginary friends, other people's children, other people's imaginary friends' children, pets, favorite CDs, and certain plants. Refer to Article J, Paragraph 42, Section 3.14159 on "Ficus Financials," for more information.


Step 4. Write down all information in a legible manner:





Step 5. Go to the nearest ATM and empty your checking account, savings account, and pockets. This is what you owe.

It's always a good idea to send your payment in cash, and stuck to a cupcake. The IRS enjoys playful pranks like this, and will doubtless credit your account several hundred dollars in exchange for the laugh.

Well, we hope you've enjoyed our comprehensive tax guide. Now, if you need us, we'll just be vacationing somewhere you've never heard of outside U.S. jurisdiction.

April 10th, 2011 - Today was my first day as a cake decorator at the local Wrecky Mart. My parents claim they warned me of this day when they told me not to major in Ancient Latin Philosophical Dance Theory, but I wouldn't trade those 14 years for the world!

Anyway, for our first lesson, Susan, the Bakery manager, taught me how to make a dog cake. I did it with an Ancient Latin flourish!

April 11th, 2011- My second day at the bakery. Susan was arrested this morning for stealing headcheese, so now I'm the Bakery manager. (And my parents said I'd never get anywhere with this job!) My first customer placed an order for a Spider-Man cake. I hate to brag, but I think I exceeded everyone's expectations:


April 12th, 2011 - I think I'm getting the hang of this! Three more orders filled today: one for a school spirit cake...





Thanks to Heather H., Jen S., Manda, Donovan F., Dylett B., Stephanie V., Leslie W., & Amanda K. And, in the ancient words of my forefathers, "Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam."