professional cakes - cakes wrecks

Guys, I get a lot of wreck reactions via e-mail. I've seen multi-page rants IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS from bridezillas, blistering sarcasm from disappointed parents, and more "LOL"s than I can count. I've even known one or two brides who had to take their bakers to court to get a refund.

However.

I've never - ever - seen someone sue a baker for over $4,300 over a misspelled name on a $55 cake.

"Good day, Madam! Please allow me to welcome you to the West Rutheford Winery, Gastropub and Patisserie. Might I offer you a moist towelette?"

"Um, no. I just need to order a cake for my son's birthday, please."

"But of course! We have many, many cakes to choose from. If I may point out on our Ménu dú Jöur, here you see we have our Incredibly Moist Chocolate Cake Uniquely Finished By Hand With Butter Cream Icing."







Thanks to eagle-eyed Wreckporters Dawn C. and Aimee W. who are just glad that last one isn't red velvet.

Oh, and since *I* couldn't figure it out, I thought you might want to know that last label should read minstrel - which is apparently a type of cake. Plus, when Aimee pointed it out to the manager she shrugged, said they were all probably like that, and put it back on the shelf. Yay, quality control!

People often bemoan the fact that we don't have spell check for cakes, but as every writer knows, spell check doesn't catch everything.

After all, this IS spelled correctly:

I once participated in a Rock-A-Thon when I was a teenager: a group of us rocked in rocking chairs for eight hours straight to raise money for charity. Now, if I'd had the option to rock a thong, instead?

Um. Yeah, I would've stuck with the rocking chair.







And finally, when Steve and Marcus were planning their joint birthday party, they went with a Back to the Future inspired "Enchantment Under the Sea" theme - naturally.


They ordered a cake with "Enchantment Under the Sea" written on it - and when the baker misspelled "enchantment" on the order form, Marcus immediately began hoping for a Cake Wreck.

Well, they did get one, but not in the way he expected. See, apparently the baker mistook "the sea" to mean the cake's deco pack, and...well...



Thanks to Ashli D., Ann Marie P., Erika T., Shea, & Marcus H. for being awl-around grate guise.

*Note: Sarcasm.

I didn't think it'd been that long since my wedding reception, but apparently I'm already behind the times. Used to be, folks just clinked their glasses any time they wanted the happy couple to kiss.




Thanks to Heather C. for finally finding a wedding wreck to rival "faith, hope, thrust."

As misunderstandings go, I'm not sure you can do much worse mangling the phrase "Getting hitched!" for an engagement party than this:

Thanks to Wreckporters Amy R. and Jenn G. for these knee-slappers.

Whoah. Not only did they screw up the "screwed up" inscription, it's a cupcake cake. [patooey!] Now, CCC defenders, I want you to look at all that icing smeared under and around the individual cupcakes, and then I want you to find a real cake, and I want you to apologize to it. Do it! Do it now!!




Hey, you know how some people's "i"s look like "7"s, and their "g"s look like "6"s?

I've been short for as long as I can remember, so I can say with some authority that this is why you should always order the *regular size* birthday cake:



When celebrating a lucky couple's recent engagement, it helps to say something complimentary:




Thanks to Cindy J., Erica L. & Erin P., Julie W., Gary L., Joann B., & Koby, who are talking to me, and actually do find me amusing. So that's seven.


* Which I just made up.

After seeing the first communion cake his Sunday School ordered for him, Seth's mom suspected a parent-teacher conference might be in the works.



Jaz I, I know sometimes you just really want sprinkles, but this is getting ridiculous.