Countdown to V-day
With Valentine's Day coming up, you might be wondering what to get your significant other for the occasion. Other than roses, chocolates, and cheap stuffed animals, I mean. Because, obviously, those are required. [stern face]
Well, fortunately for you, bakeries still have lots of sweet, romantic options tailor-made to fit your snuggly bun's personality to a "t." Check it out:
When your boyfriend starts crying, you'll know it's only because he's so happy.
For the stalker:
Quietly delivered when they least expect it.
*Hidden recorder that plays your personal greeting available for an additional charge.
You see plastic frogs and crumbling icing.
She sees a chance to fix you.
With extra sprinkles for that really intimate experience.
For the Class Act:
A temporary tattoo for a permanent affectation. "Which doesn't need a permanent tattoo, baby, 'cuz your love is a tattoo on my heart. You feel me? My heart.
"Seriously, I'm not getting your name tattooed on my chest. So stop asking."
Hey, it's only as disturbing as you let it be.
[...]
Which, in my case, is pretty darn disturbing.
[sing-song] "Who wants to suck the icing off Barbie's leeee-eeg?"
Yup. Disturbing.
Thanks to snuggly buns Lewis R., Madlyn, Kristie B., Dru Q., Sarah M., & Sherry G.
Well, fortunately for you, bakeries still have lots of sweet, romantic options tailor-made to fit your snuggly bun's personality to a "t." Check it out:
For the co-dependent:
When your boyfriend starts crying, you'll know it's only because he's so happy.For the stalker:
Quietly delivered when they least expect it.*Hidden recorder that plays your personal greeting available for an additional charge.
For the hopeless romantic:
You see plastic frogs and crumbling icing.She sees a chance to fix you.
For the one who wants something sexy:
With extra sprinkles for that really intimate experience.For the Class Act:
A temporary tattoo for a permanent affectation. "Which doesn't need a permanent tattoo, baby, 'cuz your love is a tattoo on my heart. You feel me? My heart. "Seriously, I'm not getting your name tattooed on my chest. So stop asking."
For the kid at heart:
Hey, it's only as disturbing as you let it be.[...]
Which, in my case, is pretty darn disturbing.
[sing-song] "Who wants to suck the icing off Barbie's leeee-eeg?"
Yup. Disturbing.
Categories:
Questionable Taste
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