In Which Happy Tanks SHOULD Be Given, But Are Not
My dear Wreckies, there are so many ways I could wish you a happy Thanksgiving today.
I could forget how it's spelled:
Tranksgiven? Hanksgiven?
Well, thank goodness for the poo tornado; how else would we know what the occasion is?
Sprinkles: they fix everything.
If you work in communications, I could get you a poo turkey and misspell your department name:
Isn't it ironic?
I could put a military spin on things:
I won't lie to you: I'm quite disappointed with the distinctly un-tank-like strawberries here.
I could try to avoid the spelling hazards in "thanksgiving" by skipping the word all together:
Although I suspect this isn't so much a lack of spelling ability as a general stinginess with letters; notice we only get a single "greeting."
I could remind you of the dangers of overeating:
"No, turkey, don't do it! You're beautiful just the way you are!"
Oh! Or here's an idea: I could avoid actual decorating all together, and use a mound of Dollar Store flotsam chucked in your cake's general direction to convey the appropriate sentiment:
The sentiment being "May you choke on a tiny plastic pilgrim," of course.
Or, I could simply assault you with a visage of such horror that nightmares of it may well plague you for the rest of your natural-born life:
[nodding] Yeah, I think I'll go with that. Seems the most memorable.
Theresa, Michelle H., Becky O., Denise M., Mike A., Chris O., & Vicky J., fingers crossed that you each get a "happy tank" today.
- Related Wreckage: Teasers for the Coming Seasons
Note- For those of you pointing it out, yes we do know that Autumn is misspelled. That's kind of the point.
I could forget how it's spelled:
Tranksgiven? Hanksgiven?Well, thank goodness for the poo tornado; how else would we know what the occasion is?
Sprinkles: they fix everything.
Isn't it ironic? I could put a military spin on things:
I won't lie to you: I'm quite disappointed with the distinctly un-tank-like strawberries here.I could try to avoid the spelling hazards in "thanksgiving" by skipping the word all together:
Although I suspect this isn't so much a lack of spelling ability as a general stinginess with letters; notice we only get a single "greeting."
"No, turkey, don't do it! You're beautiful just the way you are!"Oh! Or here's an idea: I could avoid actual decorating all together, and use a mound of Dollar Store flotsam chucked in your cake's general direction to convey the appropriate sentiment:
The sentiment being "May you choke on a tiny plastic pilgrim," of course.Or, I could simply assault you with a visage of such horror that nightmares of it may well plague you for the rest of your natural-born life:
[nodding] Yeah, I think I'll go with that. Seems the most memorable.Theresa, Michelle H., Becky O., Denise M., Mike A., Chris O., & Vicky J., fingers crossed that you each get a "happy tank" today.
- Related Wreckage: Teasers for the Coming Seasons
Note- For those of you pointing it out, yes we do know that Autumn is misspelled. That's kind of the point.
Categories:
Mithspellings,
Oh-So-Ugly
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