National Cupcake Day
I'm told that today is National Cupcake Day. So, we could celebrate all that's good about these mini-cakes in paper wrappers, and look at beautiful examples of them made by talented people...
OR
We could take a little refresher course on why Cupcake Cakes are evil. After all, what better way to celebrate the cupcake than by protecting it from unholy perversions which must be stopped before cake art as we know it is ruined beyond all saving!?!
[patting down hair]
Yeah, I like Option B better, too.
There are two types of CCCs: your basic, all-slathered-together model:
(which Wreckerators are forever trying to make round shapes out of)
And the "mosaic" style, wherein the cupcakes are each iced separately:
(Either a crying fish or an airplane turned sideways, dumping out the pilot's lunch.)
As you can see, both types of CCC are what baking industry insiders refer to as "fugly."
Plus, cupcake cakes come with enough frosting to induce a diabetic coma merely by being within a ten-foot radius. Usually we're spared this sight because CCC photos are taken from directly overhead, but you can sort of see what I'm talking about here:
What's worse: that this is supposed to be a sombrero, or that there's even more icing underneath those paper wrappers, gluing them to the board?
CCCs almost always result in shapes that baffle the imagination. If you wanted to put that in a positive light (which I don't) you could say they're like edible Rorschach tests (so I won't). And so one person's hamburger becomes another's highway o' caterpillars:
One person's flip-flops becomes another's necklace-wearing alien blobs with hives:
Or one person's [Note to John: what the heck is this? Find out and insert here] becomes another's Mardi Gras cactus mask:
Or maybe it's a flying pickle. [head tilt] Huh.
Rather than fighting back against the evil infiltrating their bakeries, I'm afraid most Wreckerators have simply given up:
[throwing down spatula] "Meh, it's a football. Time for my break."
Others write us little clues on the cake board:
I'm pretty sure "No Intelligent Life Found" means this is supposed to be a UFO, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate the irony.
Duuude.
OR
We could take a little refresher course on why Cupcake Cakes are evil. After all, what better way to celebrate the cupcake than by protecting it from unholy perversions which must be stopped before cake art as we know it is ruined beyond all saving!?!
[patting down hair]
Yeah, I like Option B better, too.
There are two types of CCCs: your basic, all-slathered-together model:
(which Wreckerators are forever trying to make round shapes out of)And the "mosaic" style, wherein the cupcakes are each iced separately:
(Either a crying fish or an airplane turned sideways, dumping out the pilot's lunch.)Plus, cupcake cakes come with enough frosting to induce a diabetic coma merely by being within a ten-foot radius. Usually we're spared this sight because CCC photos are taken from directly overhead, but you can sort of see what I'm talking about here:
What's worse: that this is supposed to be a sombrero, or that there's even more icing underneath those paper wrappers, gluing them to the board?CCCs almost always result in shapes that baffle the imagination. If you wanted to put that in a positive light (which I don't) you could say they're like edible Rorschach tests (so I won't). And so one person's hamburger becomes another's highway o' caterpillars:
One person's flip-flops becomes another's necklace-wearing alien blobs with hives:
Or one person's [Note to John: what the heck is this? Find out and insert here] becomes another's Mardi Gras cactus mask:
Or maybe it's a flying pickle. [head tilt] Huh.
[throwing down spatula] "Meh, it's a football. Time for my break."Others write us little clues on the cake board:
I'm pretty sure "No Intelligent Life Found" means this is supposed to be a UFO, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate the irony.And still others are clearly having so much fun that they may need forcible restraining:
Duuude.Well, I think you get my point: cupcakes are great, cupcake cakes are - to put it nicely - fugly icing bombs sprung from the bowels of Hell's kitchen. (The real one, I mean. Love ya, Gordon!)
Matt H., Chessa N., Lauren R., Jennifer R., Brittany H., Amy L., Nathan, Nichole B., & Beth, go forth and eateth thine cupeth caketh in exceedingeth celebration.
Related Wreckage: Cupcake Cakes: Always Wrecktastic. Always.
Related Wreckage: Cupcake Cakes: Always Wrecktastic. Always.
Categories:
Beyond Bizarre,
Oh-So-Ugly
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