professional cakes - cakes wrecks

I often give the cakey wreckitude a rest on Sundays, but then I thought, hey, instead of skipping a day's post, why not feature amazing NON-Wrecks instead? After all, it's nice to be reminded that cake decorating is not merely an outlet for the illiterate, color-blind, and taste-challenged: there are some real masters of the art out there. I can't promise I'll do this every week, so just think of this as the occasional chocolate chip in the chocolate "muffin" (ie bald cupcake) that is Wrecks.

Ok, enough intro. Without further ado, I give you the amazing Wall-E:


Yes, he's cake. And he's life-sized. How sweet is that?

Check out the B&L logo and uber realistic "rust" on the fire extinguisher. Now this is how you use an airbush, guys.



These are my personal photos - hence the watermarks. They were taken at this year's national ICES convention in Orlando, Florida, and I'd love your help in identifying the bakers responsible.

UPDATE: Ah, my readers come through for me again! It appears that Wall-E is the work of brothers Edward and Antoni Frys of European Cake Gallery, ironically located in Texas. They don't have Wall-E posted there due to copyright muckety-muck, but my hubby John spoke with them on the phone and confirmed he is indeed their creation. Thanks to all of you who helped me track them down!

Or at least the most pathetic-looking:


My guess is the decorator ran out of cupcakes towards the bottom (oh yes, this is another cupcake-cake monstrosity), which resulted in this wonky number 7 with tiny feet attached.

Apparently the decorator also ran out of 'y's; check out the inscription. "Happ 1st Birthday"? Y not?


Marissa H., I hear two can be as bad as one, but I'd have to see that 2 to believe it.

Nothing helps smooth over those awkward early teen years quite like getting a cake with a half-naked stud-muffin on it from your parents, eh, Tracy? Just wait 'til your mom asks to go "halfsies" with you on a lap dance.



I am told that these "Love is" characters were really popular back in the day, so I'm going to assume it wasn't the decorator's idea to draw two nekkid kids of indeterminable gender hugging. However, what the heck is going on behind kid #1? Either that's a tail, and it's wagging, or kid #2 is patting kid #1's butt. Considering the "warm embrace" sentiment, I honestly couldn't say which of those options would creep me out less.

UPDATE: That's hair? Really? I mean, I guess I'll have to take the word of my [cough cough] older and wiser readers, but I still don't see it. Maybe if it wasn't flesh-colored...


Chelsea Y., & Jessica M., love is getting such awesomely inappropriate Wrecks.

Today we Americans and our friends around the world should pause and remember those lost in the attacks on 9/11/01. We each do this in our own way, and some people commemorate the day a little differently. Some people, for example, make a cake:


I've received several different pictures of this cake - each taken from a different angle - so it's obviously getting a lot of attention from passers-by. Some believe this is just the baker's way of using his unique skills to make a tribute. Others think it's disrespectful: halfway through serving those towers the cake is going to look pretty darn macabre. Personally, I'm on the fence. I see the skill involved, and I think the baker's motives are pure, but in execution I can see why so many are offended.

Your thoughts?



Thanks to Anna B., Patrick C., Dubi K., and Marc Felion, who took the original photo.

Disaster was narrowly avoided at the Smith household today, when 3-year-old Billy took the instructions on his birthday cake a little too literally.

"You could tell he was aiming for the giant '3' candle," said a local relative on the scene, "but fortunately his mom caught him just in time!"


Gee whiz, Dora T., that was a close one.

UPDATE: To the many readers helpfully pointing out that "your" is a misspelling: uh, that's kind of the point, guys. See, he was going to "wee" on his 3, 'cuz that's what the cake said to do - get it? [shaking head]

We've all been there: six weeks of rigorous dieting, all ruined by the sugar-paste encrusted morsels at cousin Jill's wedding. But what is today's bride to do? Is it possible to have the wedding cake of your dreams while still showing consideration to your dieting guests?

Yes, it is!

Introducing the Cake Head Diet Aid!



That's right, folks, just place the professionally decorated Cake Head Diet Aid alongside your wedding cake. It's that easy! In addition to being a delicious red velvet groom's cake, the Cake Head Diet Aid will effectively dissuade all but your most ravenous and/or non-squeamish of guests from indulging in the gut-busting baked goods. Guaranteed!

Here's what our happy customers are saying about the Cake Head Diet Aid:

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"Never have I wanted to eat cake less. Just the thought of your product has kept me up nights, and I've lost over 15 pounds!"

"When my husband said the wrong name at the altar, I was ready to kill him. Slicing into the Cake Head Diet Aid, however, helped me vent enough of that murderous rage to make it to the annulment. And the jam filling - oh, that was the best part!"

As a bonus, your Cake Head Diet Aid is completely customizable! From football helmets to sunglasses, iPod earbuds to nose rings, you can make your Cake Head Diet Aid the spitting image of your husband-to-be while incorporating his favorite hobbies!

So girls, be kind to your guests waistlines while giving your guy his just desserts: order the Cake Head Diet Aid today!


Michelle D., I bet these work great at birthdays, too.


UPDATE: Alright, all you PhotoShop nay-sayers: there IS such a thing as edible image printing, mkay? I also verified that this came off a professional bakery's portfolio site, so chill wit' da hatin' , yo.

This cake is absolutely stunning - kind of like a sharp blow to the head. I know that I was forced to stare in stunned silence for a moment when I first saw it: the thought of eating that much Pepto-colored paint put me in cerebral lock down.

Still, if ever a herd of curly teal amoebas were to migrate across a shockingly pink desert, I imagine it would look something like this. (They even sent the little ones on ahead, see?) And I'm sure it can't be easy to get something edible to look so glossily non-edible, so props where they're due and all that.

But the plastic grad caps - why? No, seriously, for the love of all things cakey, why?

And I'm not going to even mention the spacing, except to say that someone should be staying after class again.


Hey, while your retinas are still smarting, check this action out:

Now, I don't know if it's because orange is my favorite color, or because those giant pillow-y swirls look so softly smooshable, but all I can think about when I look at this is how much I'd like to attack this bad boy face-first, T-Rex style. RawrMmmmmmmm.

Yep, nothing brings out the carnivore in me quite like sugary baked goods. (Oh, wait...)