professional cakes - cakes wrecks

Today, we're going to talk about carrots.

Or more specifically, carrot cake. You see, for hundreds of thousands of years, bakers have been trying to hide the taste of carrots - which is most charitably described as "dirt-like"- by mixing it with truckloads of sugar and cream cheese icing. This makes even the most rancid of vegetables - aka, carrots - slightly less disgusting and, of course, extremely healthy.

But how does a baker, who is bound by law to disclose that his cake actually contains putrid dirt veg, tell his customers without making them want to vomit?






Some have tried tweaking the color to muppet blue:


Note: Before the carrot cake coalition comes after me, I should mention that I actually love carrot cake. Carrots, however, are evil like the froo-its of the de-vill. Which just goes to show: if you put enough sugar in something, even the most revolting, repellent, repulsive, sickening, nauseating, stomach-churning, stomach-turning, off-putting, unpalatable, distasteful, foul, nasty, vomitous vegetable known to man can be super duper yummy.

Special thanks to peachesrevenge, Simon L., Nora B., Lacey J., Natasha T., and my Mac Thesaurus, which never lets me down.

If the answer is yes, then don't wait another minute. Pick up the phone and call the professionals: Crocker & Hines.

Here at Crocker & Hines we specialize in slip-and-falls,



So whether you've been the victim of a simple fracture...





Jessy A., Maria G., Jessica R., Katie M., Margaret B., Anony M., & David P., good news: I hear they also handle torte law!

Ah, Labor Day. A day when we celebrate labor and all of its laborious labors.

And who among us hasn't labored over laborious labors at some point in our labors? Heck, you may be laboring right now! You might even be IN labor! And that's the labor regarding which I have begun to labor over this post. Laboriously. And from a guy's point of view.*

(*Bearing in mind that, since I AM a guy, I've never had to bear children myself - laboriously or otherwise.)


Okay, that came out wrong.

The point is: you're pregnant. And now your belly looks like this:




Or, if you're of the clothing persuasion, like this:


Anyway, a couple of weeks later the kid wants out:

In the worst way.




Only, you know, more goopiness, screaming, nudity, and the doctor's skin under your fingernails. Really, it's kinda like a SAW movie, except you can't sleep afterward because there's an unfamiliar person screeching in your room, as opposed to just in your nightmares.

And then, after all that hard labor, you have a beautiful baby:



Meredith, Stephanie A., Anony M., Gina R., Stephen, Ginn, & Julie W., may your labors never be in vain. Or in cake, for that matter.

As you may know, Jen and I are at Dragon*Con this weekend, which means we are geeking out with the geekiest geeks in all of geekdom. Which is exactly why today's Sweets are the most elegant, Eastern-inspired cakes we could find. (See, I'm actually having nightmares about being chased through cavernous hotels by roving packs of storm troopers in kilts. Which is not only possible, but actually likely.)

So, onward and upward!

One of the things I most admire about Eastern tradition is the art of Henna, which works amazingly well on cake. Check it out:


Look closely. See how the chocolate is glass smooth on the top? No way to scrape off a whoopsie here!





Some fabulous hand-painting:

And a fabulous fan:



A Kimono-inspired beauty:



And a tiara:


Well, there it is! Next week we may be fully recovered from geek overload, so we'll probably do something really geeky with, I don't know, gears or capes or something. Until then, please send your nominations and ideas to sundaysweets (at) cakewrecks.com. And Wreck On!

This is why you never dine alone at fancy restaurants:



There's a fitness center in Dallas with the tag line, "Redefining the Fitness Experience." Something tells me the baker they hired for their anniversary cake didn't quite agree with that assessment, though:



Hey, uh...guys? Has anyone checked with Justine about this?



Ryan W., Gilbert, Kelsey C., & Karen B., may your Labor Day weekend be as labor-free as possible. (Unless you're having a baby. [Which would be weird, in Ryan or Gilbert's case. (Unless it's their respective female counterparts who are in labor. [Which would be cool.])])

And finally, there are many ways to spell the word "irony." This, however, is probably the best one of all: