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May The Fourth Be With You

Posted by Unknown Tuesday, May 4, 2010 0 comments

So for some reason I started Wrecky Wedding Week before realizing that today is Star Wars Day. Whoops! Can't let something like that go by uncelebrated, now, can I? But I also wanted to stick to my wedding cake theme, so...

BEHOLD!!

He is the terror that flaps in the night. He is...Darth Vader!!
On your Precious Moments wedding cake.
Just 'cuz.

(P.S. Whoever did this is my hero.)

[NOTE: THIS IS NOT A WRECK. I just thought it was funny, and it's a wedding cake with a Star Wars tie-in. So...yeah. Sometimes I post well-made cakes that I find funny. I'm sorry if this confuses you. It will be alright; we'll get through this together. Unless you start complaining about how well-made these cakes are. Then you'll be alone. So, so alone. (Unless someone else complains - at which point you'll BOTH be alone, together. [kinky])]

Another great topper:

Just don't ask which one is the Wookiee.

You *have* seen the dead Tauntaun wedding cake by now, right? Well, just in case...

(Via Great White Snark, The Official Star Wars Blog, and pretty much the entire Internet.)

This was actually made by one of my all-time favorite cake artists: Courtney from Cake Nouveau. Yes, it has entrails. Yes, it's disturbing on pretty much every level there is. But - BUT! - Courtney also posed for this picture:

And that makes it alllll better. [big geeky grin] Love ya, Courtney!
Please don't shoot me.

And finally, may the force be with us:

...because with this much black fondant, we are going to need it.

Also, they really should do something about those bulkhead doors that slide down. Ouch.

Sam B., Susan E., & Clare, are any of you seeing a white top hat under Vader there? Or is that just me?

Oh, and for more hilarious Star Wars wreckage (with some Sweets mixed in) check out the guest post I did last month for Neatorama here. It's hilarious. Trust me.

It's Wrecky Wedding Week!

Posted by Unknown Monday, May 3, 2010 0 comments

That's right, Wreckies: We're about to embark upon a week-long marathon of wedding atrocities. Tipped over tiers, questionable themes, the missed marks...oh yeah, it's gonna be awesome.

So, let's get right to it, shall we?

It's your wedding day. Of COURSE you want sprinkles.

Er...

Did the camel sneeze?

Brides-to-be, want your cake to convey a sense of elegance in addition to the fun, campy style normally reserved for peanut vendors and clown cars? Then have I got the cake for you!

(Levitating tiers come standard. Cake stand extra.)

Or perhaps you'd prefer something less colorful. Something that evokes less "Big Top" and more "Sewer Pipe...with Flowers":

You could call this color a blue/grey/green. Or "hurk," which is faster and more accurate.

Still hungry? This'll help:

I'm reminded of a song my dad used to sing to me when I was little. Maybe you know it. Does "Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts" ring any bells? (Man, they just don't write lullabies like they used to...)

Hey, you know how we're always wondering why more wedding cakes don't use Mardi Gras beads? Well, wonder no more!

These colors are making me a little queasy. Which is ironic, considering the Pepto Bismal icing.

[dramatic movie trailer voice]
"She was the belle of the ball, the picture of elegance.
He was a rough country boy who'd never seen a fork.
Together, they would create something the world had never seen.
Something ground breaking.
Something divisive.
Something...
well, kind of prickly."

And that's why you always let the groom have his cake, ladies.

Karen M., Karin D., Judy M., Anony M., Danielle T., & Jennifer C., hang on to your veils; this week's gonna be a bumpy ride.

Fashionably Sweet

Posted by Unknown Sunday, May 2, 2010 0 comments

Clothes may make the man, but they're more like the icing on top of the woman. Which sounds much kinkier than I intended. Erm. What I mean is, we're looking at cool Fashion cakes today. So let's do that, and stop thinking about icing-covered lady bits. Not that *I* am, of course, but I know you probably are. (Filthy buggers, the lot of you.)

The inspiration:

The Sweet result:

Submitted by Eliza P., & made by her friend Abigail. Lots more pics here.

Those gates are piped royal icing; the epitome of the word "fragile." In fact, all of that detail is painstakingly hand-piped. Just amazing.

Sub'd by Katie S., made by Jill's Sugar Collection

I think I just heard the sound of thousands of women giving a collective, "oooohhhh!" And yes, I joined in.

Remember the hat Aretha Franklin wore to Obama's inauguration - the one with its own FB page? Yeah, that one. Well, it was also honored on her birthday cake:

Sub'd by Meredith R. & found here. No baker credit, though. Anyone know?

Aretha got plenty of snark for both the hat and this picture, which mystifies me - I think they're both awesome. Besides, doesn't the Queen of Soul deserve a little more R-E-S-P-E-C-T?

Natalie M.'s wedding cake has some of the best "fabric" draping I've ever seen:

If the Greek goddess Athena ever took on cake form, I bet she'd look like this. [dreamy sigh]

The fluid lines on this next one remind me of a full skirt mid-twirl:

Sub'd by Ashley B., and made by Marina Sousa of Just Cake.

Love the satin-like sheen, too.

A dress cake is kind of like the grown-up's version of a doll cake. You get all the girly prettiness, minus the tacky synthetic hair getting in your icing.

By SusieHazCakes

Also, note how the dress form does NOT look like the torso of a woman with her limbs hacked off; it looks like a dress form (see the bottom of the stand underneath?). This is what we in the biz call "a win."

Or, if you want the ruffled skirt but not the entire dress, how about this?

Sub'd by Brianna G., & made by Collette Peters)

Squee!!

[UPDATE: Since so many of you asked: Collette made this for IN Style Weddings Magazine, and it was inspired by the famous designer Betsey Johnson, who is single.]

Some of you may be wondering where all the shoe and purse cakes are. Well, truth be told, you sent in so many great examples that I didn't know how to choose! Plus, I honestly prefer the more abstract fashion designs like the ones above. These tend to require more design creativity than an exact one-to-one replica. Granted, exact replicas can require more skill, but the purse and shoe thing has been SO popular for SO long that, much as I hate to say it, I'm kind of bored with them. Sorry.

I haven't decided on a theme for next week yet. Have one to suggest? Or a cake to nominate? Then send it to me at Sunday Sweets [at] Cake Wrecks [dot] com.

Wreckies of the Month

Posted by Unknown Saturday, May 1, 2010 0 comments

It's time again to recognize those loyal henchpersons among you who have created something truly Wrecktastic this month.

First up, some of you may have noticed this in your daily comics the other week:

(Check out more Brevity Comic Strips here.)

Well, it turns out that Guy actually IS a Cake Wrecks fan, and this was his tribute. Excellent! Although, Guy, I feel I must point out that you spelled everything correctly. [shaking head] Tsk, tsk.

The famously infamous Darth Vader Baby Shower Cake continues to inspire many of you in your at-home Wreckerating. Here's Jenna's version, made for a fellow D&D group member:

"Welcome to the dork side." Heh. Aheh. Heh.

Oooh, and speaking of Wreck-inspired homages: Listen! Do you smell that?

Jennifer N. got these fabulous Ghostbuster cupcakes from her friend Ashley for her 25th birthday. As you can see, Ashley mixed in some of this tragic Wreck along with the correct "no ghost" symbol. So. Cool.

Another great baby shower homage from Mary N.:

This is quite the combo! Let's see...there's It a Gril, In pink, the belly cake, the C-section cake, and of course the world-famous carrot jockeys. Whew! Pretty sweet!

And lastly, Danielle M. earns the Best Wrecky Babysitter Award for wrangling all of the neighborhood kids she babysits (Shelbie, Maddy, Ashley, Abby, and Jacob) into a Cake Wrecks sketch:

My favorites include the magically transforming sidekick, the "patooie" at :51, and of course, the ending. Daniel had the kids perform two other Cake Wrecks posts, too: the Cake Head Diet Aid and The Twilight (Wrecking) Zone. It's most gratifying to know the next generation of Wreckies is assured. Good work, Danielle and minions!

For the rest of you, keep those e-mails coming! I may not post everything you send in, but I thoroughly enjoy ~~laughing at~~ admiring your photos, videos, and general geekiness.

Literally Puzzling

Posted by Unknown Friday, April 30, 2010 0 comments

Each of the photographs below represent a cake order gone wrong. Can you find the errors? The first puzzle gives you a hint. (Answers below.)

A) [hint] Sara is also a mom.

Well, I guess it *does* beat "Sara, SLASH Mom."

As Number 1 pointed out to me, at least they didn't write "War Eagle" in auburn icing. Although in my mind, that's just wrecking it further. If you're going to go literal, go literal. Am I right?

Something tells me this cake has something to do with CPEN.
CPEN CPEN CPEN CPEN.
Huh. Yeah, I don't know where I'm getting that.

Say something nice about Wade M., Nancy S., & Jessica K. to thank them for the pics.

Answer Key:
A) Wreckerator is a pacifist
B) Wreckerator hates drawing
C) CPEN CPEN CPEN

Update from John: So, apparently, the Auburn Tigers greet each other by yelling "War Eagle." Yeah. But we Trekkers are the weird ones. Anyhoo, so I suppose if you want to get all technical and correct about it, that cake is not a Wreck. But, it's too late to take it down. And we're tired. And it's Friday. So, we're all moving on. Right? [meaningful look at commenters] Right. We're moving on.

A "Dreme" Come True

Posted by Unknown Thursday, April 29, 2010 0 comments

"Welcome back to round one of the National Wreck Bowl, folks. Our reigning champion, Pat Wüfflehausen, has filled his pastry bags and is ready to attempt a new world record.

"Greg, this is obviously a huge challenge for Wüffelshausen. What do you think he's feeling right now?

"Well, he ate the same lunch we did, Pete, so probably nauseous and constipated."

"Hey, I did warn you about those samosas, buddy. Aaaand here we go! Our champ is now in position. Looks like he's assessing the area...he's preparing to pipe...and...

"A-HA! Would you look at that? Right out of the gate, he has destroyed the first word!"

"Tell me, Greg, how many points would you say that misspelling is worth?"

"Oh, I have no idea."

"But if you had to take a shot in the dark?"

"Well, I'd probably spill it."

"No, no, I mean...Uh, tell you what, let's just move on to round two."

"YES!! Wüfflehausen just manages to knock out the second word! That was quite a close call, turning the 'I' into an 'E', don't you think, Greg?"

"Only when absolutely necessary, Pete."

"Haha, sounds good. Well, folks, this is it: the final round. And, uh-oh! Look what just got plunked down on the playing field!

"Greg, it's going to be pretty tough for Wüfflehausen to misspell "achieve" with that star stamp right next to him. Do you think he can pull it off?

"Well, sure! It's just a tiny plastic pick - probably doesn't weigh a thing."

"No, no, sorry, that was my fault there, Greg. I mean, do you think he can do it?"

"Do what?"

"Right, let's get back to the action! The crowd is hushed with anticipation, and you can almost feel the tension in the air, can't you, Greg?"

"Abso-lutely not!"

"And here we go...and, oh! Oh! It looks like he could...go...all..the...way!

"YES!! Do you believe in miracles?!?"

"Well, there was that time my mother-in-law fell down the stairs..."

"And that's a new World Record! To those of you at home, thanks for tuning in, and good night!"

Annie, I think I'd call this the "Hale Mary" of Wreckerating.

- Related Wreckage: The Teacher Tearjerker

The Cat's Meow

Posted by Unknown Wednesday, April 28, 2010 0 comments

{cue sexy saxophone music}

"Oh my... Hello, beautiful lady. I didn't see you come in. Welcome to The Kitty Den, where all of your wildest fantasies can come true. I was just about to slip out of this stiff collar and enjoy a fresh bottle of wine by the fire. Won't you... join me?"