professional cakes - cakes wrecks

Here's a bizarre message to find in a London display case:


Now, according to Mary there actually was an ATM behind her when she snapped this photo, so I guess it's a kind of edible FAQ page. Still, my question is: Where's the ATM when it's NOT behind me? And why even advertise where the broken toilets are?


Maybe it's some kind of European thing, Mary. You know: European? As in, you're...a...pee'in? Eh? Eh? Bazinga!

- Related Wreckage: Cake Writing 101: The Art of Spacing

What better way to celebrate Super Bowl Sunday than with some cool character sweets? (I know. That doesn't really make sense. Go with me here.)

Starting with Kung Fu Panda:

And here's a little Homer Simpson made by the same baker:


An absolutely amazing Stewie from Family Guy:

And an adorable Snoopy:



And here's a great Mike Wazowski cake:


What better way to end than with Eeyore. Absolutely adorable!


Have a Sweet to nominate? E-mail it to me at Sunday Sweets [at] Cake Wrecks [dot] com.

- Similar Sweets: Sesame Street

So Jen and I are in Texas, a state which apparently holds a deep and sordid hatred for me. See, I'm sick. Not dying-in-the-hospital sick but sick, nonetheless. And it's cold. And wet. And in the past week, we've moved ten thousand pounds of knick-knacks across Texas which, it turns out, takes approximately 7,000 hours to drive through, the whole time praying we don't plow into some random cow or windmill. Oh yeah... did I mention Jen's a bit grumpy?

So I'm doing today's wreck, and I'm pretty much just gonna rant. Let me set the stage:

Expensive wedding in the Philippines.
The finest catering.
The perfect beach setting.

And this:


I know, right? I feel the same way. But what I want to know is how hard is it, when you're on a freaking tropical island, to find fruit that isn't so close to being rotten that it makes your kids tipsy. And what's with the icing?!? I've iced a few cakes in my time and I've never seen anything like that. I take that back. Last week, my cat licked my shmeared bagel when I wasn't looking and it looked a lot like that. I mean seriously people!

*propping self up in hotel bed*

And another thing!

...

Nah... that's enough. Just one last thing: I've met a ton of Texans while I've been here and one thing is true of them all: they're all so stinkin' nice. What I want to know is how do you stay that way when your state is constantly trying to KILL YOU?!?!?!?!

Ever wonder what happens to the personalized cakes customers refuse to buy?

Why, they get "fixed" and set out for another unsuspecting schmo valued customer to purchase, of course!

Sometimes you can even spot these Wrecky rejects, if you look verrry closely and have a keen eye for detail:


There are a few accepted methods for recycling a Wreck. In addition to the "Scrape 'N Sell" we saw above, there's also "The Schmear":


"The Glob":


And, my personal favorite, "The Ice-Out":

For all you football lovers out there, I *think* today's cakes all have football team names on them. (That's my keen deductive reasoning at work again. That, and the teensy plastic footballs.)



'Course, neither does this:






This next one isn't so much a spelling error as it is a "Hey-o! Lunchtime!" error:



What's worse than misspelling your team's name?

How about misspelling the name of your state?



Hey, is there an echo in here?

It's simple yet effective, in a poetic kind of way. Which team will win? What's it all mean? Why are we decorating a big chocolate chip cookie with huge gobs of icing? Why?


Michelee U., Robert G., Will H., Rachel B., Lynda B., Molly S., Stacy M., Sarah O., & Elsha H., go! Fight! Win! (And call me when you get back, dahlings; I enjoy our visits.)

- Related Wreckage: Introducing a Good Sport

Making Turkish cigarette cakes must be a real drag:

Daniella T., Renee G., Julie M., Courtney M., & Mark B., you guys are a breath of fresh air.

- Related wreckage: Proper Grooming


NOTE FROM JEN: Who is Number1? She's my new Jen-clone. Yep. She's just like me, only smarter, cuter, and gosh darn it, a wee bit funnier. I've strong-armed her into doing a few guest posts from time to time, so y'all be nice to "the new Jen" while she gets her feet wet around here. (After that, though, she's fair game. Mwahahahah!)

Unless someone takes a picture and posts it on the internet, of course - and what are the odds of that?

Heheheh.

Heh.

Heh.

Hoo! Yeah. Good stuff.



Don't worry, "Jett" - those poo-bats are so disturbing, no one will care whose cake this used to be.


Hey, bakers, ever get the feeling you forgot something?




How to make Al feel special:



And finally, how to totally freak out your boyfriend: