professional cakes - cakes wrecks

I'm pretty sure I just burst a blood vessel in my right eye, looking at this.[squinting] From what I can see, this appears to be a pimp-mobile on a suicide run through a radioactive river of blood - only it's a radioactive river of blood with jaunty blue outlining.I love the extra...

“Aaaaand here comes the birthday boy’s cake! Now, Drew, remember when your father and I asked you what you wanted for your birthday, and you said you wanted a second Xbox 360 for your game room, and we said no? You do? Well, do you remember what you asked to get for your birthday...

I guess its the camera angle, but every time I look at this cake I see a baby head wearing a giant bonnet. And yes, a body-less baby would be a little disquieting, but I think you could make the case that a Baby Burrito is just as bad. What's wrong with a Baby Burrito, you ask? Several...

It's bad enough that this cake seems to be using "full belly" as some kind of euphemism. Add in the picture of the scruffy-looking guy with his arms around a couple of kids, and surrounded by other children in various states of frolicking - all while in a secluded forest, I might...

But in this case, nothing positive. (These were supposed to say "Dirrrty Thirty".)Dawn P, thanks for providing us with Wrecks that give our gag reflex a break. ...

Yes, it's supposed to be a foot: a "Chinese Lotus (Bound) Foot" to be precise. (It's what the Chinese used to do to their women's feet, back when the thought of fallen arches struck terror in the hearts of mere mortals.)Yes, it was for a podiatrist. Because when a doctor is forced...

Let's take a moment to really absorb the full impact of this wedding "cake". Drink it all in: the stacked strawberries, the bananas, the unfortunately positioned apricots ON the bananas, the rockin' plaid suit in the background...Don't ask me for details; I have none. I will say,...

This cake may technically be a wreck, but it's a freakin' sweet wreck. And get this: it's a wedding cake. Awww yeeeah [cue Bond music: dum da da dum da da da...].Check out the details, folks: from the crashed plane and face-down henchman (my favorite) to the bad guy scaling the...

No, that's not the opening line for a joke; there really is an Italian bakery in Afghanistan. It's also where today's cakes come from. Let's see what our military folk are getting for their birthdays, shall we?Not bad, not bad - although it looks like the cake suffered from a little...

Don’t let this happen to someone you love. Think of poor "Anber", who will always wonder whether or not she’ll be missed. Get educated about the proper use of quotation marks, so that, together, we can make cakes like these a thing of the past.And for more fantastic quotation mark...

Egads, people, what is going on at today's baby showers?!? First the boobie cake, then the edible baby, and now this!Obviously, this is wrong on a level so VERY wrong that it doesn't really need elaboration. However, I feel compelled to point out that the, er, "mom" here has the...

It's rare to find authentic vintage cakes these days, but here we have a remarkably well preserved pair circa 1963. Note the "risque" surfer girl figurine - complete with original fabric lingerie! - and of course the matching surfer "dude" in a similarly provocative pose.If you look...

I'll grant you that this cake is passable, although the design is a bit loose and it does seem like there should be a bow where the blue "ribbons" intersect. But, I can't stop staring at those peaked mounds; they way they're swirled and formed makes the cake look like it was the...

Someone really needs to pry the airbrush out of the hands of these cake decorators; it’s impeding the art. I can almost see the commercial now…“Spending too much time designing and decorating your cakes? Want a fast, easy way that requires absolutely no forethought? Buy an airbrush!...

I think these guys should team up with the poison bon-bon cake, given the fatality risk of eating real puffer fish. At least, I think those are supposed to be puffer fish; the one on the right (my right, people) looks a bit like a smushed hedgehog – all he needs are some tire treads...

[through intercom, with British accent] “Ms. Jones, could you come in here, please?”- door opens and closes -“Yes, Mr. Reynaldo?”“Ms. Jones, about that cake in the conference room…”“Yes, sir?”“I’m not sure it’s entirely appropriate for the board meeting.”“I did make sure it said...

I know what you're thinking, you crass people, you. You're just bursting to say something devastatingly witty that involves the word "crap" right now, aren't you? Uh-huh; I knew it.Alright, then, rather than stifle it, let's just get this all out of systems, shall we? It'll be cathartic....

Not all Cake Wrecks are a result of poor construction, as you can see from this example. Some cake artists just seem to forget that, at the end of the day, their creation is meant to be eaten. Can you seriously imagine being told to slice up and serve this cake?And baby shower...

I know this post is going to test the limits of my credibility with you, faithful Cake Wrecks readers, so here is the originating site, provided by Summer from TX, to prove I am not making this up.First, the inspiration:Which isn't bad, I guess, if you've got a Brave Heart kind...

I can think of a few things that might make Chuck Norris cry:1) Seeing this cake2) Having his body in the position pictured (since his spinal cord would have to be severed from twisting 180 degrees).3) Realizing that his fan base has degenerated into noodle-armed cubicle-dwellers...

People, I’ve seen some bad cakes in my time, alright? Poor execution, bizarre subject matter, awful color choices - you name it. Still, nothing has ever made this baked-goods-addict put down her fork until today.This looks like something the baker found moldering in an old shower,...

I cannot stop staring at this cake. It just sits there, taunting me with its bizarreness, daring me to explain the spinning ring of fire, the glistening blob of golden jello, the dripping Double Dare slime, and the oddly precious pink ruffles. Is it a birthday cake? Anniversary?...

Only in America can the nation's flag be jammed up an eagle's butt as a tribute.Happy 4th, Fol...

It's ironic that a cake meant to welcome a new baby into the world looks so funereal, don't you think? The only thing missing is a miniature carnation wreath at the foot of the cask... er, I mean bassinet.I can't decide if having the baby's eyes open make it less creepy, or more....

Check out Great White Snark's most recent post: the top 5 awful R2D2 cakes. Sure, they're home-made and therefore don't qualify as Cake Wrecks, but the commentary is freakin' hilarious. Go. Read. Enj...